The great downtown rocket

The story behind the great downtown rocket.


Im calling shenanigans. This whole story is a misleading lie. There is only one fact in that whole article that is true.
It is a ballistic missle.

Cute cover story about the monkey thing though. People like monkeys. Associate something people like with the rocket:
suddenly people feel safe driving by a missle daily.

Lie A) Sent a monkey into space... No, monkeys got together and overwhelmed the guards around a rocket installation one day,
hell bent on getting a single monkey back to the monkey-planet where he would reveal the secrets of the human race.
Ripe for domination, or so they thought. The monkeys launched. But the Greys, Betazeds, and those Scientology aliens who are all on the government payroll - they fried his monkey butt. Thus no monkey invasion.

But watch them when they see the Space Shuttle... theres drool on their lips, and malice in their hearts.

Monkey = evil.

Remember that.

Lie B) Its just a museum piece. Hell no, it's too close to the Roanoke Times buildings to be "just a museum piece." I have long held that the missle is actually part of the Times defensive mechanisim, lest anyone try and become a threat to their news monopoly. Why do you think Roanoke does not have another newspaper?

The Missile.

Its the sword of damocles hanging over the Roanoke Valley. Anytime someone gets the inkling of an idea to start up a new newspaper, a rep from the Times calls them, and reminds them of the big missle.

But theres a group, armed with tinfoil hats to prevent the Times from usurping ViPir Radar technology to read the thoughts of those who would start a 2nd Roanoke newspaper. I will have more on them later.


Oh yes, and its T-24 hours and counting. Are you ready?